Ta Deonta--"The Necessary Things"

I'm Selling Out...

2008-05-21T09:58:00.000-07:00

I just switched over to TypePad to meet my blogging needs. I have a new blog and new web address:
CLICK HERE TO GO TO MY NEW BLOG

I will still keep this blog active for a little bit, but my new TypePad blog enables you to easily subscribe to my blog via email. Just scroll down to the bottom left, type in your email into the box, and you will receive an email when a new post comes out.

Thanks!

Sound Waves...

2008-05-19T22:03:00.000-07:00

Shane Deike wrote a great post on kingdom expansion. He named listening to God as one of the most important parts of being a disciple of Jesus.

I completely agree with that, as my life definitely reflected that. Before I learned what it meant to listen to the Spirit, there was mounds and mounds of carnality, and a small pile of spirituality. After I learned what it meant to 'walk in the Spirit,' I began to see dramatic life transformation.

The challenge I have sensed in leading post-modern college students is the different answers they would give to the question: 'what does it mean to listen to the Holy Spirit?' Many would not include reading the Bible as the primary way. Combine that with so many people coming from broken homes, broken families, and a string of broken relationships, and there is really a dramatic lack of foundation.

I remember a talk from a while back from Mark McCloskey. He shared that all of the disciples knew the OT; knew in the sense of the 'cover to cover' type of knowledge, not just the 'I know of' type knowledge. When they 'heard' from the Spirit, it was out of a deep base of scripture.

I don't believe that a person can hear from the Lord apart from a connection to the Word. The Corinthians are a great example. They had every spiritual gift, God had set them up as a church with the tools to flourish, yet their lack of a deep scriptural base left them immature and struggling with sin.

We can as an organization empower more people as they sense the Spirit's leading. This goes along with my tirade about honoring failure and risk and courage more, but I think the underlying challenge we are facing is a dependence on skill and a fear of failure.

Reflecting on the Blogference

2008-05-17T12:04:00.000-07:00

I'm still mulling over what I learned/liked/etc about the blogference. Here's what I have so far:

The platform, or means, of communication is extremely important. Even if it's great content, but in a platform that hinders communication, the content does not get appreciated. I really liked how easy and non-committal the blogference platform was. Many people were able to casually observe the conference without having to fully commit.
So often we focus on the results part of what we do, which is great. But often we neglect to enjoy the process of what we do. I was really pleased to think about what kinds of discussions and thoughts people had as they read the various posts and comments. Personally, I have seen how valuable it is to observe and learn how other people think; it always sharpens my own thought processes.
Blogging forces me to communicate honestly and succinctly. Wow, if I could be known as a person who communicates like that all the time, that would be amazing. I've noticed in my daily interactions a desire to be more of both. That's cool!

I know there's more, but the most exciting thing for me was knowing that learning and thinking were taking place about the faith/future paradigm. Hopefully as we all spur each other on to lead others in this manner, we will see significant and meaningful transformation happen all around us.

Blog-Ference Day 5--What Did You Think?

2008-05-16T13:10:00.000-07:00

It's the final day of the blogference, and I wanted to leave by inviting you to share your thoughts.

I'm really curious what you thought about the content, the format, the discussion, and anything else.

I'm so excited to see how we as an organization can leverage our size and scale in new ways through online platforms such as these. It's amazing to think that we can honestly dialogue with staff all over the world through something so basic as a blog.

Outside of being challenged by the content, I hope that this has given you a positive taste of blogs, that will hopefully inspire you to either begin one yourself, or follow a couple more frequently.

As I mentioned in the Facebook message, we will be launching a blog where the hosts can share posts related to the theme of Leading Change after the blogference ends. I'm hoping to host another blogference in 3-6 months to continue to spur on the online conversation.

Thanks again for participating. Please share your comments!

Blog-Ference Day 3--Faith that Combats Fear and Hopelessness

2008-05-15T08:21:00.000-07:00

Hebrews 11:1-Ἔστιν δὲ πίστις ἐλπιζομένων ὑπόστασις, πραγμάτων ἔλεγχος οὐ βλεπομένων.

I'm sure all of us are familiar with Hebrews 11:1. Today I wanted to look intensely at the original language of the verse, and draw out the ways that we can fight hope fatigue and our natural desire to lead out of the Present/Self/Known.

The three words highlighted in red are the nouns of the verse. πίστις is faith or belief, and the rest of the nouns, the sentence, and even the rest of the chapter attempt to explain this one word. The other two words in red are absolutely vital to narrowing down the meaning of 'faith' that Paul seeks to communicate to his audience.

ὑπόστασις--this word, translated in the NIV as a phrase "being sure," and as a word in the ASV as "assurance," literally means 'that which lies beneath.' Colloquially, you could say 'the thing beneath the thing.' It's also translated throughout other Greek texts as 'subject matter,' 'foundation,' or my favorite: 'the real nature of a thing, essence.'

ἔλεγχος--this word, translated in the NIV as the word 'certain' and in the ASV as 'conviction,' was a word used most often in court. It's best translated as 'proof.' Not general evidence that many lawyers use, but that which compels the jury to decide guilt or innocence.

Here is a translation that I would offer of the Hebrews 11:1: "Faith is real life actions that come from hope, convincing proof of unseen realities."

So, from the original language, FAITH is not abstract at all but rooted in the tangible, the seen, the present.

Here's the main point I want to make today: LEADING BY FAITH MEANS LEADING OUT OF HOPE!!!!!

When I think about words that those whom I lead would use to describe me, I don't believe many would use the word 'hopeful.' Passionate, convicted, focused perhaps, but not dominantly hopeful.

When I think about words that I would use to describe the campus ministry, hopeful would not be in my top 5.

Here are 3 reasons why I don't lead dominantly out of hope, and 3 things I believe our organization could change that would lead to stronger culture of hope with CCC.

Personally...

Being hopeful requires me to lead out of future realities that have yet to be given. I'm fearful of letting people down, and making promises that I know only God can keep.
Being hopeful requires that I trust more in Jesus than myself. It means a day to day schedule that has appointments and tasks that scare me more than make me feel good about myself.
Being hopeful costs me my reputation in front of others. Especially leading students who are 'all about authenticity, and keeping it real,' that culture subversively kills hope, since communicating a belief in things not seen can often times be perceived as 'fake.'

Organizationally...

Break free from wrapping up our 'organizational hope' in strategies. Most of my hope fatigue towards CCC comes from hoping in strategies that change every couple years. From the various comments yesterday, it seems we are all tired of changing strategies and longing for a deeper level of commitment.
Bond and facilitate connections over 'failure' more. It's really brutal to maintain hope in a heavy performance-orientated environment. I actually love our commitment to performance in the sense of being committed to reaching as many lost students as we can. But without honoring failure, courage, innovation as much as strategy and success, the positive and redemptive side of our performance culture gets lost in the shuffle.
Seek to grow trust between each level; campus to region, region to national. With so many new and easy ways to communicate personally via the web (blogs, video-casts, Skype, etc), I believe we could easily come up with ways to have more personal relationships with RD's and National leaders. Ken Cochrum wrote a great post on means of communication. It was interesting that email came out on the bottom; yet that is the main way our RD's and National leaders communicate.

I would love your comments on this one, as I really desire to learn how to lead more out of hope.

What are some ways you communicate hope to others? When have you experienced hope in someone? What was it about them that made you feel hopeful?

Blog-Ference Day 3--Fear and Hope

2008-05-14T09:36:00.000-07:00

Here are some great comments from yesterday’s discussion. Once again I wanted to use our dialogue as a spring-board into today’s discussion.

I saw foundationless change. I saw leaders trying to be innovative and make changes, try new things, but get no where due to having no foundation to build on. In other words nothing was constant or sacred (including the principles needed to build anything).--Ken

I lead out of the present, self, known because it is much easier and it does not leave me looking foolish.—Josh Payne

For me, it's FEAR - fear of losing control, fear of pain and discomfort, fear of loneliness even, b/c the majority of the people won't get it or get you as you live in that space that is different from theirs.—Wix

I'm also concerned when I hear about "rapid reproduction," this sense that risky faith-filled ministry produces more sexy, crazy results.—Aaron

It seems like the root issue keeping most all of us from leading out of the Future/Faith/Unknown is fear. Foundationless change can also be seen as a fear and lack of confidence that our plans are of the Lord in spite of the not working or happening perfectly. Josh touched on our fear of looking foolish—we all experience the expectation that as staff we are ‘supposed to know’ how to do everything well. Wix shared all the experiential consequences of leading in this manner, emphasizing how costly it is.

I also see hope as a major part of why we do or do not lead out of the Faith/Future. Walter Brueggemann, in his book The Prophetic Imagination, defines hope as this: Hope is the refusal to accept the reading of reality which is the majority opinion…hope is subversive, for it limits the grandiose pretension of the present, daring to announce that the present to which we have all made commitments is now called into question.

I fear that with so many different strategies rolling out every couple years, that we have hope fatigue. I sense that we have been doing so many things okay to below average, rather than a few things well, that many of us do not have something to point to that ‘proves’ so to speak that it’s worthwhile to hope. Personally, hoping in something that does not end up coming to being is extremely discouraging. It’s so easy for me to blame myself for a lack of faith/spiritual fervor/etc, question whether or not God really wants to work on campus, and wonder if being on staff is truly where it’s at. Especially when we have a culture that honors ‘success,’ I can easily start to believe I’m on the outside and not doing something right.

I would also go back to Brueggemann’s quote that emphasizes the subversive-ness of hope. It’s extremely hard to admit that what we have been seeking after things that are ‘just okay’ or ‘good but not great.’ Hope can be threatening—to ourselves and to others, as it opens up the possibility for God to work outside of the current structures/processes/etc that are set in place.

To bridge this gap between where we started as Campus Crusade and where we find ourselves now, I believe we need to look for ways to combat fear and foster hope, especially to staff on the field.

To start the discussion, I would ask these questions of you:

Would those whom you lead describe you as hopeful? How do you communicate/reflect hope in your current ministry context? Do you have hope fatigue? What is the major cause of it for you?

Blog-Ference Day 2--Challenging the Status Quo

2008-05-13T08:41:00.000-07:00

Thanks everyone for your comments yesterday. If you are just joining this dialogue, my basic premise is this: The cultural and spiritual climate on campuses throughout the country have changed to the degree that our 'old' ways of doing things no longer have the efficacy they once did. Instead of forging new paths by faith, we as an organization have in many ways 'dug in our heels,' and have sought to fight problems by doing more (more money, people, time sent in to do the job).

My argument is that to truly see new paths forged in the campus ministry, we must begin to dethrone old paradigms and models, empower more staff on the field to lead courageously and boldly, and 'honor' as an organization apostolic characteristics such as faith, courage, freedom, innovation more at every level.

Yesterday I highlighted the vision that Dr. Bright launched--one where as an organization we led dominantly out of faith, and dominantly towards the future.

Today, I want to show where I believe we stand presently, and what obstacles we face in reclaiming the apostolic identity that Dr. Bright gave us.

THIS IS NOT A CALL TO THROW EVERYTHING AWAY; NOR TO SAY THAT WHAT WE ARE DOING RIGHT NOW IS BAD. Instead, it's a call to re-embed into the center of our roles the very things that caused us as an organization to grow.

I wanted to start by posting bits from each of the comments from yesterday to lead into today's content.

Our EV seems to be, present- self. Campus Ministry tends towards doing what we've always done. We change the outward face of it.—Alisha

Should we cling to their model of initiative and faith?—Dave Goffeney

I guess I mean to say that sometimes making decision in the known rather than unknown can be good. One might call it wisdom. But what I think you're working against here is comfort, not wisdom.—Aaron

I don't know how to make that shift again. Is it all Holy Spirit? Don't think so, but it seems the National Team is really trying to get some of this back with the Way Forward.—DJ

But ultimately what it comes down to in my head is.... is this structural change ultimately going to effect heart change by removing something like the weekly meeting? Or will the structural change just be structural--Jen Ip

Leading in light of the future requires a sacrifice of the present ordering of things: we have a finite amount of resources (staff, student leaders, time, energy, money), and simply cannot maintain the present at 100% capacity and still lead in light of the future. A huge part of our job as staff is to wisely sacrifice parts of the present in light of the future. Near-sighted leadership is a silent killer of many movements (sounds a little Confucian, but it's true).

Here is the leadership base that I believe we as an organization are leading out of IN PRACTICE. You'll notice that the circle is placed over Self, the Present, and the Known. I would say as an organization we lead more out of our self than out of faith, more out of the present than the future, and more out of the known than the unknown. Like Aaron and Dave brought up, there is tons of wisdom in doing what is known. We have an obligation to steward our resources as best as possible, and that often means not re-inventing the wheel every week.

The problem does not lie in repeating models, processes, and structures in my estimation. The biggest problem I see is that the success of past models, processes, and structures have pierced our organizational conscience to the point where we believe THEY are what causes growth and transformation. As a result, we have shied away from being staff who truly lead dominantly out of faith and the future, since we have co-opted ourselves to protect the status quo that was so successful and prominent.

I believe we are stuck with this circle for a variety of reasons. Here are some reasons why as I have observed:

*Flesh-driven performance: A desire to replicate past models, regardless of effectiveness, to please those in power above us. How many summer projects have you been on that don’t use Ocean City’s model? From those projects, how many of those places actually have the same environment and context that would warrant duplicating the model?

*An embedded culture that primarily honors ministry ‘success.’ How many times have you seen or heard about a ministry that is living out of faith but ‘failing’ miserably? Particularly from the National sphere of our organization (emails from National leaders, Connection magazine that we get each month, CSU, etc). We can look right to Chili’s Story challenge to see the dominant culture of success. I’ve yet to see someone win for saying, "Our movement has stepped out in faith like never before yet we have not seen any fruit to date."

*Emphasis on skill/role based development rather than capacity/character based development: Mark McCloskey has written extensively on this issue. Basically the idea is that we still consider development as primarily acquiring skills rather growing our capacity to love and lead students from the core of our being. Look at our 'development' binder that we give. I would guess it's 80% skill based.

*Organizational culture that does not aggressively seek or facilitate learning opportunities outside of CCC. Nearly every resource we have is developed from within. The advantage of this is obviously alignment: I get that. However, whenever staff seek learning opportunities outside of CCC, it’s always on their own time and their own dime (that’s the last time I will rhyme. It just worked). Because of that, it’s hard for us to grow in our intellectual flexibility. It was almost 4 years on staff before I attended a spiritual conference other than a CCC one. Although the conference was okay, the experience of being around different-minded ministry leaders was beneficial beyond what could even be quantified. Yet I paid out of my own pocket and it was on top of the already 5 or 6 CCC conferences I had been to that year.

Again, let me reiterate that this is not an indictment solely on our National Leadership. At every level, and in every role, we are accountable to leading in this manner.

Why I'm so excited about this blogference is that it gives a platform outside of the traditional ones to actually discuss these issues in a way that will cause transformation at various levels. These obstacles can be overcome; tomorrow I will delve into practical and transformational ways to reverse this trend.

Okay I would really love your feedback on this one. Do you lead out of Self, Present, and Known more than Faith, Future, and the Unknown? Why? What keeps you from sacrificing parts of the present in light of the future?

Blog-Ference Day 1

2008-05-12T07:18:00.000-07:00

My topic is Leading Change Out of the Faith/Future Base: Redeeming Our Apostolic Calling. What does that mean?

I put up a diagram that attempts to illustrate what I mean. The four grids are Dominantly Faith, Dominantly Self, Dominantly Present, Dominantly Future. The x and y axis are Known and Unknown.

If you were to draw a circle that reflects your orientation to these categories, that would be your Leadership Base. I added Known/Unknown to the grid for the purpose of our discussion. By that I mean do you shy away from or are you drawn to that which is known or unknown?

The next diagram shows where I believe we all want to be, and want Campus Crusade as a whole to be. You can see that the circle is orientated highly towards Faith, Future, and the Unknown. This is definitely how Campus Crusade was started, and definitely why I joined staff. Personally, I have seen God work most dramatically when I have made decisions in light of this orientation.

However, as I look out over the landscape of the campus ministry, I can't help but wonder if we have shifted from this orientation. NOT in our hearts, but in PRACTICE. Although we hear 'the best is yet to come,' I wonder if we lead more like 'the best already happened.'

I believe that in order for us as an organization to reclaim this Faith/Future base, and consequently our apostolic calling, we have to explore and shift some fundamental paradigms towards work, time, and how we understand our role on campus.

I wanted to close with a quote from Seth Godin's book Small is the New Big. I hope that it will spark some great discussion over this topic and inspire us to re-evaluate how we lead:

"Today, 'long' and 'hard' mean two different things. The future is about work that's really and truly hard, not just time-consuming. It's about the kind of work that requires us to push ourselves, not just punch the clock...Today, working hard is about taking apparent risk...something that you believe is unsafe but that you realize is in fact far more conservative than sticking with the status quo."

Where is your circle? Do you agree with my assessment of the campus ministry? What do you think needs to change?

Blog-Ference Gearing Up...

2008-05-05T14:50:00.001-07:00

So if you are checking this blog out to read more about the blog-ference, this post's for you.

In the last few months, I have become increasingly bothered by the reality that there so many staff out there with tons of wisdom, knowledge, and experience, yet little interaction. With blogging and other online platforms, I have seen that we now have the tools to begin bridging this gap, and leveraging our organizational size in new ways.

This Blog-ference is a first stride at sharing and dialoging about ministry related issues in a platform that all of us use--the internet. This is meant to simply get the conversation started.

If you have never blogged before, and are wondering how to participate in this blogference by leaving comments, read this post.

I'm really hoping that you will be challenged and also get a sense of conquering perhaps a new territory--blogging.

Any thoughts? Leave a comment...

Wisdom From An Unlikely Place...

2008-04-30T11:16:00.001-07:00

I have really enjoyed Kottke's website. It has a diverse blend of intellectually stimulating articles, videos, etc, that are great for passing time in between things.

As I was reading an article that he linked to, I stumbled upon this great this great quote from Norman Mailer, the author.

Here's what he says...

Mailer welcomed Frey into the elite circle of bad boys. “For 40 years they stomped on me. Now you have the privilege of being stomped on for the next 40 years.” And he compared them both to boxers. “Every fight, boxers prepare to take their opponent’s best shot. You should prepare to take huge shots every time out because they’ll never stop The work has been controversial enough that you’re never going to be like one of the guys. You’re never going to be one of the ones that the newspapers love or that wins awards. [You’re] always going to take a beating publicly. And that’s endurable if you just focus on what matters, which is the work.”

As a person that loves and lives for change, this quote resonated deeply with me. It was not just the analogy of the boxer, but the focus on the work. The work is worthy enough to take a lifetime of beatings is how I would rephrase what he is saying.

For me, it's not books or writing that is the work, but Jesus and his glory. He causes me to continue to push transformation and change. He is worth a lifetime of being misunderstood, frustrated, held down, marginalized, and even attacked. Because for me as I authentically encounter Christ, I know that things cannot stay as they are.

I need to believe...

2008-04-28T19:08:00.000-07:00

Something has been gnawing at my soul the last couple months, and I haven't been able to pinpoint it until this weekend. Our organization has been making changes, which definitely causes instability within the ranks.

This instability finally drew my attention to something--belief. I've noticed that the things I give my life to, or spend the most time doing, are interconnected with what I believe in most. When I doubt something's effectiveness, value, or whatever, the amount of time and energy spent on that thing instantly plummet.

I went to Mosaic when I was a student at UCLA. Erwin McManus is gifted at many things, but his belief and hope impacted me most. His belief in Jesus was contagious; people lived MORE and risked MORE after interacting with Erwin.

I sense that our culture is in transition, much like our organization. In times like these, it's easy to get lost amongst all the change. I'm learning how important it is to discern where God is at work, and be able to live and communicate in ways that reflect my belief in him. I cannot control who follows me, but I can control where I'm going, and what I'm all about. The more clearly people understand where I'm going and why, the more they can either get behind it or decide to follow someone else.

Great Post on Productivity and Work Dynamics

2008-04-22T09:27:00.000-07:00

Seth Godin understands work dynamics well.

Here is an insightful post on how most Americans view work and productivity.

2000 Miles...

2008-04-22T09:15:00.000-07:00

I had a great time this weekend with family in Monterey. My parents joined Aubrey, Mase, the twins, and I, and we had so much fun swimming in the hotel pool, going to the Aquarium, and hanging out together.

My 100 mile bike ride started early Sunday morning, 7 am. It was by far the most challenging ride I've had up to this point; there was a significant breeze, steep climbs, and I spent the better part of 6 hours cold.

The best part of the ride was eclipsing the 2,000 mile mark on my bike. I started counting late August of last year, and it was so encouraging to see the progress I have made. It's not the distance that's rewarding--it's the amount of stress reduced, the amount of fitness gained, and the amount of think-time enhanced by riding 2,000 miles. Being introverted and cerebral AND working with people all the time is a real challenge. Time on the bike has helped keep me fresh and focused throughout the year.

100 Miles...

2008-04-12T13:58:00.000-07:00

This weekend my family and I are heading out to Monterey. On Sunday, I will be setting out to complete my second century bike ride. I love all the aspects of a 100 mile bike ride; the endurance, the mental focus part, the great sense of accomplishment that comes from finishing, the energy of cycling with lots of other people, and the pit stops. Unlike marathons, century rides have amazing rest stops full of energy drinks, carb stuff (muffins, breads, etc), and fruit. They make the 6 hours spent on the bike worth it.

I'm hoping to complete the race in 30 minutes less time than last year, but my ultimate goal is to have fun, soak in the scenery, eat well, and finish. And take a lot of pictures.

Also during the race I will eclipse the 2,000 mile mark on my bike for this year! That is so crazy to think about, but all those miles are the place where I pour out and leave all the stress of life. More updates next week.

The 10% Challenge--No this is not about Tithing

2008-04-09T11:25:00.001-07:00

I realize that I tend to do things intensely--it's not just that I wash my car, but I take another 2 hours to wax it, vacuum the inside, Windex the windshields, etc. I'm often left drained at the end of the day not because I did too much, but that I did things too intensely.

So, being the Change Agent that I am, I'm subjecting myself to the 10% challenge, and wanted to invite you to consider doing it as well and tell me what you think.

Here's the challenge: Spend 10% less time and energy on everything you do during the day, for one week. Now I understand some things like brushing your teeth might be hard, but what about email? Not just the overall time spent on it, but on every email you send. Think about how much time and energy you could 'save' each day. Each week! You may have enough time and energy saved up to go out and exercise, or start up that blog that you have been thinking about, or enjoy time with your wife or kids?

Okay those are mine, but what about yours?

Do you care what I think?

2008-04-06T21:31:00.000-07:00

Thanks for your thoughts

Your input is very important to us and will help us as we together go after reaching the students and faculty of the world.

Return to video page

This is the page that displayed when I commented on an online video from one of our Campus Crusade leaders.

Here's what disappointed me about the page...

1)It did not display my comment or anyone else's for that matter. What's the point in commenting on something that isn't displayed? Wouldn't someone who takes the time to comment like to see what other people said?

2)Who is 'us'? The page does not tell me who my comment is being forwarded to. It could be forwarded to someone who may or may not have any influence in our organization.

3)How will it help 'us'? It would help me to know that my comments are at least being sent to someone that wants to dialogue about the video in question. If anything it has done more harm than good. I don't feel listened to, and it seems like the creator of the page is afraid of comments, since they are unwilling to show them to the public or inform me where they are being sent.

One of the things I would love to hear from our leaders is candor and freedom. This video page communicates neither.

Blog-Ference Coming Soon...

2008-04-04T21:57:00.000-07:00

Ever since readingPlato's Symposium , I have been fascinated and excited about hosting my own symposium. NOT one that is all talk and no action, but one that actually leads to life transformation. One of the strengths of Campus Crusade is our largess--but the downside is that as staff we are spread out all over the country and are wrapped up in our personal ministries.

My solution: An online conference (blog-ference if you will), where staff can engage can engage content and ideas that are challenging, but without having to spend money, time, or energy getting 'to' someplace where that usually happens.

I have no idea how this will work, but I'm really excited about the possibilities. Anything to promote and encourage people to share thoughts and ideas in a constructive and life-giving manner seems like a huge win. It's so easy to spend the majority of our time 'doing' and not thinking about why we are doing what we are doing. It's also easy to be narrow in our intellectual influences. We find someone we like, we read or listen to only them and their buddies, and become either closed or threatened by anyone else whose different. How lame is that?

Anyway, this will be happening in the next 4-6 weeks, and if you have any suggestions, I'm open. Shapevine is doing some cool things like this, you should check out their site if you have time.

Great Quote From Prophetic Imagination

2008-03-28T08:57:00.000-07:00

"We do not believe that there will be any newness but only that there will be merely a moving of the pieces into new patterns"

In an organization like Campus Crusade, which has been around for over 50 years, this statement could potentially be seen as heresy. We as an organization have lived out and tried literally millions of different ways of sharing the Gospel.

Our age, just like the age of our lives, presents strengths and weaknesses. Because we are old, we have a collective wisdom and discernment that translates into great focus and stewardship. Because we are old, we also are very 'set in our ways' and threatened by change, especially the change that Brueggemann talks about in his book; the kind that the Lord brought about through Moses in Egypt.

I sincerely believe that God wants to do something 'new' in the sense of the definition above in Campus Crusade. I believe that we need to appropriate this newness by stepping out in faith in 'new' ways. Unless we sincerely begin trusting Jesus for 'new' things, then we have no excuse or reason to blame or even be frustrated about the way things are. If we just sit back and criticize, then we are just as disobedient as those who know what needs to happen to produce change and chose to instead maintain the status quo. Lots of cliches in this last sentence, but you see what I mean.

Moses' and Aaron's journey of following God in this process of seeing something 'new' happen was arduous, disheartening, enlightening, empowering, and redemptive all at once. I doubt they look back on that time and wish that they had catered or listened more to the people than the Lord.

Un-Redemption Sucks

2008-03-27T14:32:00.000-07:00

There is a great possibility that an investor will be buying a house for us to use to build and grow our movement.

I was meeting with the investor and the realtor, and she shared that a local wealthy family buys houses in a particular area and lets them sit. The family buys them because the wife 'just likes houses.'

These houses are right near the campus, and have the potential to be used for so much. Bible studies, socials, even just close community life for students living in the dorm. Instead, they sit vacant.

I long for a day when houses, businesses, even community areas would not just sit vacant, or even would be occupied or used, but used according to the purpose and heart of Jesus. Because of Christ, all things have new meaning--not just people, but things as well.

What if near every campus there was a city block of houses set apart for welcoming and providing authentic, Christ-honoring community for anyone? How many freshmen's lives would be redeemed and transformed by something like that?

The Newness of God...

2008-03-24T10:50:00.000-07:00

The one aspect of Easter that really captivates me is how Christ's resurrection inaugurated a new reality--the beginning of a redeemed creation. All things have new meaning as a result.

In our culture I and I think a lot of others tend to think of new in terms of 'remade' or 'redesigned.' A new Camry is not an entirely new car--it's been remade and redesigned. Personally I do not often think of new in terms of something coming from nothing.

However God does this all the time: And because the midwives feared God, he gave them families. Exodus 1:21. As the midwives rejected Pharaoh's commands and by faith trusted God, he gave them families--children and husbands. His blessings and provision often come from what is not--they are completely and truly new.

I am simply amazed by this reality and ability of God--I have seen it time and time again in my own life, and long for it to show up in those I lead. The things that I have most treasure in my life are nearly all the result of God doing something truly new in me.

Twitter Proposal

2008-03-21T17:47:00.001-07:00

I just started using the online site Twitter, after a DJ, a buddy of mine, mentioned it somewhere online

I just read that a man from San Francisco used the site to pop the question to his fiancee.

For people just above my generation, text messaging is overwhelming. I am truly amazed at how seemingly impersonal means of communication are used for such personal things.

The problem lies with me; I have judged that text messaging or twitter-ing or whatever else is not personal. The twittering couple would obviously disagree--they would even say the opposite--that the proposal was personal, since both obviously used Twitter often.

I wonder how many other things I determine to be 'too' something. Especially when developing and engaging college students, that judgmental attitude keeps me from learning and relating to them.

Need Your Help...

2008-03-21T10:17:00.000-07:00

A couple days ago I started a new website with the goal of facilitating discussion and interaction amongst staff over relevant issues and needs.

I'm struggling to find the right online platform to implement and be effective at this goal.

2 Requests...

1--Go to THIS SITE and check it out

2--Comment back with what you like and don't like about it, or what platform you would use if you were me.

Don't Be a Loser...

2008-03-19T13:49:00.000-07:00

'The big losers are...organizations with significant corporate inertia and low thresholds for perceived risks.'

This is from Seth Godin's book Purple Cow. He talks about it in reference to consumer brand giants like Yamaha and Budweiser, but it very much applies to Campus Crusade as well.

This is connected to my previous post, and as I continue to think and seek to be a part of redemptive change in my organization, I'm realizing that I'm passionate about 2 things in particular...

Raising up apostolic leaders

Raising our organizational ability to make adaptive changes in light of an ever-changing ministry context

Big is not bad...it's big and SLOW that's the problem. I think we as an organization are afraid of losing, and afraid of making mistakes. As a result, we often plod along using the past as our guideline, while the future rarely gets a look.

I would love to see our national leaders model risk and creativity. I would love to hear stories of them trying something new, both in their personal lives and in their areas of responsibility.

It would even be great at our regional times together to have a 'failure' spotlight, where we get to hear from campuses or people that took a big risk and 'failed.' I wonder how freeing it would be for staff to hear and be affirmed that it's okay and even valuable to try things that fail. I fear that frogs would fall out of the sky if that were to happen though :)

Pastors or Missionaries???

2008-03-18T18:19:00.000-07:00

This question continues to haunt me as I evaluate Campus Crusade. Although we are a missions organization by name, in function, particularly in the campus ministry, I have seen that many teams function out of the pastoral. By pastoral, I mean a few things...

That teaching/speaking is the most valuable/rewarded gift.
That we tend to focus on the care of believers more than the expansion of the kingdom through focusing on lost students.
That we tend to value and invest in the maintenance of the present, rather than focusing on realizing the future. We tend to draw managers rather than leaders in our organization.

I recently directed a conference for Campus Crusade. In reading the feedback and evaluation of the staff members, the following themes stood out:

It seemed that most staff desired more high power speakers (Pastoral, speaking, teaching)
It seemed that staff desired more power (roles, responsibilities) and control in the conference (ministry managers), at the cost of empowering the student attendees at the conference
New ideas that were tried were highly criticized. (Value the present, see change and the future as a negative thing)

I'm not saying that I led the conference perfectly and the staff got it wrong. I am saying that we have an entrenched culture that is highly committed to maintaining what is and scared and even threatened by new possibilities.

I believe this fear of change and desire to hoard power will significantly decrease our effectiveness on campus in the next 10 years. New strategies and ideas are needed to penetrate the hearts and minds of today's college students with the Gospel. A new and more flexible organizational structure is needed to empower those on the field to try and lead from new places. Without some significant 'dethroning' of traditions and past victories, our organization may be like the cute grandpa, whose pants are slightly falling off, unaware of the crumbs still on his face from lunch.

Let's actually invest the majority of our time investing in missional things: evangelism, raising up leaders, not counseling followers, planting and growing movements on new parts of campus, gathering money and resources that will transform the campus and surrounding community.

Touch-ability in Campus Crusade

2008-03-14T14:10:00.000-07:00

The impetus for this post goes back 2 years ago, to a National Conference for Campus Directors. During on of the meetings, a speaker mentioned that Campus Crusade's values had changed. It was literally mentioned, elaborated upon for just a couple minutes (I'm not kidding), and then the speaker moved on to something else.

I looked around and it didn't seem like anyone else was as shocked as me. How can you 'change' Campus Crusade's values without consulting the very people who live out and show students, faculty, supporters, these things?

I have noticed that there is a tremendous touchability gap between our national leaders and those on the field. Sweeping organizational changes are often unfolded through email. Major leadership changes the same way. I understand that due to our size and scope there is no way to communicate this face to face. However, I believe that our national leaders can do a better job closing the touchability gap.

Here are a couple of suggestions...

1) Start a blog. Email the entire staff community and let us know. Blog about anything, but keep it real--no political statements, no posturing. You have no idea how much this might help.

2)Record a 2-5 minute clip of important announcements on video and post it on YouTube. Seeing someone's face and hearing their voice is great.

3)Buy a Mac (if you don't have one) to make 1 & 2 happen a lot easier. Built in i-sight cameras and integrated programs grease the online wheels.

4)Share or give away resources...I know Crusade has amazing connections with all kinds of spiritual leaders. Work out a deal to give away an online copy of a book, or a free giftings or strength test, or something. We have too much leverage in this area to hoard or not share it at all.

Leading others who are different

2008-03-06T14:34:00.000-08:00

We just finished a time of staff development where we discussed the challenges of leading others who are different than us--either in personality, values, giftings, etc.

I realized 2 things...

1--It's really hard to empower people who are different than me. It's not malicious, but very subtle and indirect. Especially in the context of a busy and hectic work week, I often times just want to get things done, and interact with those who are most like me and cost me the least amount of energy.

2--It's really easy to form judgments about those who are different than me. Again, it's very subtle and a process, not a one time event. Over time little things build up and eventually I have formed some sort of judgment that keeps from me leading them freely and as a servant.

Particularly in a results-orientated organization like Crusade, it's easy to empower and work with only those that are like this. One the one hand we get things done, on the other hand we can easily isolate and discourage those who work differently than us, or value different things than us.

The best solution I have seen is to create teams of individuals who represent and value different things, but who are teachable and humble enough to be willing to learn from each other. Also, without a leader who is leading more for others than himself is key--if the leader is drawing his or her significance from the power of his position, and draining his followers by his demand for attention, respect, etc, then no team, however balanced, can thrive and go after the mission wholeheartedly.

Have you found a great online resource for ministry?

2008-03-05T09:35:00.000-08:00

Last week, I spent 2 hours surfing the internet for Christian online resources--bible studies, articles that could be used for discipleship, etc. It was disheartening to see that most were either outdated, costly, and pretty much irrelevant for day to day ministry.

It seems to me like one of the most encouraging things we could do for each others as campus ministers is offer our content free to each other. Imagine the hours we could save from not having to prepare a bible study that someone else already has, and instead invest that time in expanding the kingdom--sharing our faith more, raising more money, developing our key leaders, etc...

Campus Crusade has made a great stride forward in our campus wiki, but it's only open to staff. I say we take it to the streets and develop an online platform that would dramatically accelerate people's effectiveness in leading others for Jesus.

EXHIBIT A: LOOK AT THIS PAGE --IT'S THE MAIN LINK WIKIPEDIA SITES FOR HELP ON UNDERSTANDING EPHESIANS.

With that said, do you have any great online sites that you regularly visit for content? PLEASE let me know!

Great Definition of Power...

2008-02-28T14:09:00.000-08:00

I wish I had come up with this, but I found this definition here...

In psychological science, power is defined as one's capacity to alter another person's condition or state of mind by providing or withholding resources—such as food, money, knowledge, and affection—or administering punishments, such as physical harm, job termination, or social ostracism. This definition de-emphasizes how a person actually acts, and instead stresses the individual's capacity to affect others.

I love the phrase 'capacity to affect others' especially being in ministry and working with people all the time. I guess I like that because I see that kind of power playing out all the time.

Here's another great insight..

"When it comes to power, social intelligence—reconciling conflicts, negotiating, smoothing over group tensions—prevails over social Darwinism.."

It seems that those who can meaningfully integrate the big picture goals or vision with those in their leadership sphere are those who are truly 'powerful.'

Last quote, then I'm done...

"A person's power is only as strong as the status given to that person by others."

That is so painfully true in ministry. As much as I would like to be followed because of my title, I know that things will move forward only when I know that those I lead are 'bought in' significantly with ME--and sometimes the vision.

These quotes are pretty basic, but the implementation and integration of them into leadership are unbelievable complex...

Keyboard Optional

2008-02-23T15:38:00.000-08:00

Bill Gates just announced that he is betting on voice recognition to be one of the new technologies that will be integrated into computers. That plus touch screen technologies will seem to make the keyboard close to obsolete.

What I love about technological innovators such as Bill Gates and Steven Jobs is their investment in the future. It's definitely risky, but I am inspired by how the lead their companies in light of the future.

I wonder how to go about doing the same thing in full-time ministry? How do I go about leading and investing in the future in ways that will continue to help college students hear and experience the Gospel in their language?

A Lot to Lose

2008-02-20T14:58:00.000-08:00

After just getting back from the Destino Conference, I've started to process what I saw and experienced. One thing I noticed during and after the conference about myself and Campus Crusade as a whole:

We've got a lot to lose, and we spend a lot of time, energy, and money protecting what we have.

Some of that is very good--there are structures, processes, and strategies that have been tested by experienced leaders in many and varied contexts, which give depth, wisdom, and leadership to our organization.

Some of it is very bad--many past successes, old paradigms, and fear of losing what we have, even if it's not that great, stifle and inhibit creativity, innovation, and freedom among emerging leaders--which turn out to be those who are actually on the ground level, and face to face with our target audience--lost students.

Since Destino is still very new, there is little to protect. Since its students are by and large unfamiliar with the 'rules' of Crusade, there is little energy exerted trying to conform to the dominant culture. The result--a lot of freedom, fun, and creativity in comparison to other conferences I have been to.

All this to say that I believe we as an organization could greatly benefit from leveraging the tremendous amount of resources that Jesus has entrusted us with less towards maintaining the present and more so towards building the future.

Dreaming Time

2008-02-11T13:23:00.000-08:00

We are taking some time as a staff team to spend with the Lord and dream about the future. Here are some snapshots from my mind as I dream:

3-Dimensional Transformation...

I sincerely want my influence and that of my ministry to be 3 dimensional: internal, relational, and spatial. I want my leadership to cause people to transform not only their lives, not only the lives of those around them, but the landscape. I want to inspire them to transform the space around them as they pursue the Lord more fully. I want Chico to physically look different as a result of my time here.

Organizational Reformation...

I want to send out full time Campus Crusade for Christ staff that are committed to challenging the status quo, and being bold and faith filled enough to actually cause change in our organization. We have too many staff members who are satisfied to maintain the present, and not enough staff committed to build and lead in light of the future.

Supernatural Vindication...

I desire to see Jesus get the glory HE DESERVES! The cost on my part to see this happen is often significant, and at times, beyond what I'm willing to pay. I would love to be known as a leader and as a movement that stays the course to the point where Jesus tangibly and powerfully gets the glory he deserves. So far this has required courage to pursue things that are not yet seen and precious at the cost of things that are seen and manageable.

Yes each one rhymes which is a little cheesy. But those 3 things are that which at the end of the day I want to be held accountable to the Lord for being about.

What do you want to see?

Davis Road Trip

2008-02-08T16:40:00.000-08:00

The staff team and our student leaders went and visited Davis' weekly meeting last night. It was really fun to go on a road trip as a leadership group, and great to see another meeting in action.

The best thing about checking out a different meeting was being able to truly be a spectator--at my own meeting it's nearly impossible to take the meeting in objectively--I have too much invested and notice too much. That sense of being a 'first-timer' is so valuable--I noticed how different I looked at things from that perspective.

Although the meeting was average--the experience was excellent and so worth it. Also, I so enjoyed building a culture with our student leaders of doing life together. It seemed like we all really enjoyed going together--which truly was a highlight for me.

Time Well Spent

2008-02-07T14:04:00.000-08:00

Our staff team talked about our schedules and the challenges we face with the idea of work. Since many times there is no 'productive' difference between 80 hours of work and 20 hours of work, we have all been forced to examine what it means to 'work hard.'

I honestly think that a week of 'hard work' would be somewhere around 20-30 hours of work, but 80-90% of that time being spent on tasks that are more about the future than the present, and require more faith than skill or effort. If myself and our staff team could somehow 'work hard' like this, I seriously could see our campus, city, and world significantly transformed within 5 years.

Why do we think that hours are the best determinant of how 'hard' we worked? Is time spent on something enough, or is it how you spend your time that is most important.

40-50 hours of 'easy work' make us feel a lot better about ourselves than 20 hours of 'hard work' do, and cost us much less.

Faith Obstacles...

2008-02-06T09:53:00.001-08:00

I'm just finishing up preparation for a talk entitled Eyes of Faith. In it, I'm exploring the idea of a faith obstacle--something that God puts in our path, to refine and strengthen our trust in Him.

2 things that are definitely true of a faith obstacle: 1-You have to trust God past your current level of understanding (a lot of it just doesn't make sense to you), and 2-You have no way of being certain of the outcome.

As I look out over the college student landscape, I have to be honest and say that I don't see a lot of students taking on God's faith obstacles. As much as students talk about revival, and talk about wanting to see God work supernaturally, many are not willing to invest the faith to see it happen. Instead, many think that by just wanting it, God will respond, or that somehow they deserve to be blessed with God's supernatural provision and response.

It's a sobering thing to truly reckon with the reality that it costs us quite a bit and usually more than we want to give to follow Jesus on a day to day basis.

Perhaps My Favorite Leadership Quote Yet...

2008-02-02T13:21:00.000-08:00

"YOU DON'T MAKE STUFF...YOU MAKE DECISIONS."--Seth Godin

When I read this quote in the book Small Is The New Big will become , I was so refreshed and energized. Especially in full-time ministry, working with students, and for that matter students with a variety of backgrounds and vastly different values, ideas, etc. Sometimes I work 80 hours in a week; sometimes I work 20. I would say on average both types of weeks have their meaning and are equally productive.

It's such a challenge to lead proactively, focused, and future-orientated. The tendency is to be reactionary, passive, and present-focused. Especially for leaders above me in my organization, who were heavily influenced by the industrial-era work ethic, working 20 hours a week is almost considered heresy.

What would happen if we worked only 20 hours a week, and had to spend at least 80 percent of that time on issues that were important but not urgent? I believe we would see our organization not only grow in size but in quality, focus, leadership, and integrity.

What does your work week typically look like? How many hours of it are focused on the future, and are things that you and only you can do?

Leveraging Size and Scale

2008-01-31T19:42:00.000-08:00

Today our staff team discussed the first chapter of Wikinomics. One of the points that stood out was how necessary it is to leverage the size and scale of an organization in order to maximize production.

It was really distressing to think about how little we are able to leverage the size and scale of our organization. From planning bible studies to running a conference, so many staff have so much wisdom, experience, and resources that would greatly enhance our organization if shared on a massive scale. Until then, staff all across the country continue to 'reinvent the wheel,' spending time and energy on things that hundreds have spent time and energy on before. If we added up those hours, and were able to reinvest those hours into expanding our organization, I wonder what our influence would look like.

It's great that our organization just came up with a Wiki. Hopefully it will be the platform that will facilitate this type of sharing.

Mass Collaboration

2008-01-28T20:58:00.000-08:00

Our staff team is reading Wikinomics this Spring as part of our development. It's been so fun to see some of us already diving into the book, and really experiencing excitement and encouragement from it. What's really cool about the dialogue so far is that we are able to instantly translate it to our ministries. It's not just the premise of mass collaboration that is really insightful, but the way that the authors break down the cultural and generational differences is particularly good for us as campus ministers.

Especially as we seek to understand and minister contextually to students who are growing more and more tech savvy and dependent, it's really good to interact over things like this and share how we see it applying.

Hamstrung by the Medici's?????

2008-01-27T09:43:00.000-08:00

The Medici Family was one of Italy's most famous and influential families of all time. What some people may not know is that they transformed the art world. Their power and financial largess solidified what we now all assume as normal--the Patron/Client relationship. The Patron supplies the financial resources for the Client to create his product. In Utopia this is a beautiful thing but in a fallen world, the Patron often times begins to have more of a say than the Client often wants, and the Client often finds himself compromises his integrity because of his need to appease the Patron.

SO WHAT? Right now, many of Campus Crusade's Patrons are upper-middle class Caucasians with a modern mindset. This has served us extremely well for quite a while, but I would say that we are starting to experience some diminishing returns and even a bit of compromise as a result of the Patron/Client dynamic?

WHAT DO I MEAN? First off, the most donated to item that Patrons give to in our organization is Freshmen Survival Kits. These have been used tremendously in the past to reach students for Jesus. Now and in the next couple years they are all but obsolete in terms of effectiveness. Students, highly dependent and tied to the digital world, no longer see paper books as a 'gift,' but rather something outside of their cultural context. Add 3-4 books per kit, and in some ways we are providing students with not only something anachronistic, but extremely wasteful ecologically.

IF a campus has a cutting edge idea that they see on their campus that would be more strategic and contextualized, there is little room and freedom to redistribute the funds from FSK's to something else? Why? The Patron/Client relationship. What exaggerates and strains this relationship even further is that these donors, who modern in mindset, rarely get the vision for new digital and postmodern strategies. Facebook? MySpace? Because of mainstream media, the digital world has an extremely negative imprint, from all the stories about online predators and sexual content.

Right now, I have boxes, hundreds of copies of books that will never be read by students, especially those we are seeking to reach. Hopefully someone will be bold enough to begin recasting vision and demonstrating the new for a completely different way of stewarding donated money to reach lost students for Jesus.

Part 2--Investing in Leaders

2008-01-25T13:26:00.000-08:00

Okay, this is just my comment from the previous blog, but I am hoping to keep the dialogue going.

The Way Forward in my mind seems to be about dramatically increasing critical mass. It seems like a team of 10 could efficiently generate AND retain critical mass consistently.

Here's another thought:
What if we as individuals/teams/RDs/NDs were accountable for spending 70 percent of our time on generating NEW critical mass, and 30 percent on retaining/developing critical mass, and left the remaining energy/time it would take to retain and develop to students/volunteers/pigeons/whoever was willing to help. My guess is in that just a couple of years we may have 500 staff to send!

Investing in Leaders

2008-01-24T21:05:00.000-08:00

I was recently thinking about the idea of quality vs. quantity as it relates to people. On staff we are always talking about needing more help, but there are certain teams that have lots of staff that produce the same amount as teams with less.

Another thought that's connected to this is continuity. Is it worth giving up someone who is less skilled but familiar and productive, for a more highly skilled, but less productive and less aligned leader? Most people, including myself, are attracted to skill, but the time and energy it would take to align and develop this person to be as productive as the person I already have may be extremely risky.

Here's a quote from marketing guru Seth Godin that speaks a little to this idea:

"What if you fired half of your workforce? Give the very best people a 50 percent raise and help the rest find jobs in which they can really thrive. Unless you produce a commodity like oil or billiard balls, it's not clear that selling more and more to an even larger audience is the best way to reach the success you seek. When your overhead plummets, the pressure to take on the wrong jobs with the wrong staff disappears. You're free to pick the projects that make you happy."

If we were to allow our overhead (staff labor) to plummet, I wonder if we would not only be more selective and fruitful with our time, but also exponentially increase our productivity.

Our current Campus Ministry strategy revolves around quantity. Our National team has asked for 100 staff dedicated to our ethnic student ministries by next year. What about 20 highly aligned, highly productive, and highly unified team to take on NY & LA. I wonder if this fantasy team of 20 competed with the team of 100, who would in the end achieve the bottom line goal--more lost students turned into Christ-centered laborers.

Which team do you think would win? I'm very curious!

Finally, a voice to my unspoken thoughts

2008-01-21T12:09:00.000-08:00

I just started reading Seth Godin. I'm a little behind in terms of most of the business world, but if we as Crusade were to begin engaging some of his thoughts, we might truly begin to see some measurable and profound change and progress.

Right now I'm reading Small is the New Big, a collection of his thoughts and blogs. It has so many great nuggets and stories that confirm a lot of the suspicions that I have about doing ministry 'business as usual.'

I'm almost too excited to put down my thoughts, there is so much there. But I am excited to finally have someone else articulate many of the thoughts and even feelings I have had since entering full time ministry.

Changing Times...

2007-12-23T09:55:00.000-08:00

I can't really put my finger on it, but it seems like some fundamental changes in thinking are finally expressing themselves in my spheres of life. In ministry, the current models are no longer on the pedestal they were just a few years ago, and are actually being viewed somewhat negatively. It seems like with college ministry 'feels' things a little earlier or more directly than a church, since we have such a narrow audience who is obviously more influenced by new paradigms.

For me, it's scary but exciting. I've always had a sense that I was not called to ministry in the same way as those who have gone before me--certainly in the foundational part of the call to see Jesus get the glory he deserves in the lives of those who don't know him, but in the manner in which that call is expressed. Up until just recently, the 'ideal' way to express this call in the missional context is through the 'Pastor' route. You, individually, acquire knowledge that others do not have, and by having that knowledge, people tend to follow you more and everything you do seems more legit because you have a seminary degree. In that model, your leadership capacity is not as important as your theological intellect and knowledge base. By not as important I mean that those who you lead were more concerned with your theological intellect and knowledge base rather than your leadership capacity.

The challenge with the 'Pastor' route in the current post-modern context is that knowledge has become less of a value in the eyes of the follower. The follower seems to value the heart aspects of a leader much more than his theological intellect and knowledge base. Another challenge to adapting and leading in light of this new context is that the 'Spiritual Royalty,' to use a term from Walter Bruggemann, is still set in the old paradigm and values the 'Pastor' route, and in my experience, cannot even imagine a different model that fits their value system. Especially for those of us who are campus ministers, or involved in parachurch ministry, branching out and attempting to live out the call in this new context is often perceived by the spiritual royalty as illegitimate and 'wrong.' This perception is particularly challenging for us as our financing comes primarily from this spiritual royalty base.

This is extremely frustrating for me because those with the resources to propel and develop the church and its kingdom leaders into this new climate are instead hindering and developing 'old' areas that are valuable to them, but not as valuable to us and those whom we lead and serve. Right now, there is a significant group of leaders like me who have the ability to bridge this gap and facilitate the transition to this new context. Many of us still value the things of the spiritual royalty, but have been humbled by the need to adopt and develop new skills for our new context.

Waking up slowly...

2007-12-15T20:32:00.001-08:00

Last night for the first time in a very long while I was able to get 10 hours of sleep. It was amazing given our family situation and life stage. I was amazed at how different my day was--I was more patient with Mason and Aubrey, my bike ride felt better, colors seemed brighter, etc. It's truly remarkable that something so natural as sleep can have such an effect on me.

I realized that my sleep situation is a lot like my walk with God right now. I don't set aside time with him, and the sweet times are few and far in between. I wonder how many more things would stand out if I spent more time with him. I know he is and has been protecting, guiding, and providing for us in the midst of this crazy time. It's been really hard for me to receive those things with joy, because I have been so tired and worn out. During these last couple months I have sensed his hand at work, but have just not had the energy to really process it all. It has made me feel guilty, but I know that it's just the season of life that I am in, and that there will be time to look back and process all that he has been doing in our lives.

So far this school year has been one of glimpses. God has given me glimpses of a lot of things, but not the full picture. It's been very encouraging and frustrating at the same time. I have wanted to see the full picture, but know that I don't have to stress and worry and try to make it happen on my own. The glimpses that I have seen in the past have become full pictures only by His hand at work in my life. That's very encouraging.

Making it Count...

2007-11-23T18:30:00.000-08:00

I'm realizing that life is so much different than I expected. Certainly I would never have foreseen where my life journey would have taken me. At this point, with so much craziness going on in my life, it's been a time of evaluating what I value and what I desire my life to be. When I'm stressed, I don't work or do life harder, but smarter. I tend to think carefully about the things with which I'm involved, and weed out anything that isn't necessary.

Because family demands so much of my time and energy, I have really been evaluating my ministry and the things that go in my job. In a job where my work is invested primarily in people, it's very hard to 'see' the fruit of my labor, especially since I work with college students. However, if I were to leave ministry right now, I would look back and savor the leaders and future leaders that God allowed me to influence. When I think about some of the guys I led on my first project that went on to invest their lives in full time ministry, or the 3 students that launched Destino at UCLA with me, that all went on to establish a movement that seems to be around for a while, I can definitely rest in my stewardship of being called to full time ministry.

To see the 'few' raised up and sent out, I have seen how necessary it is to invest in the many. The many often times being people I'm not really sure even want to be apart of things, or those whom I'm not sure will ever make a significant impact for the Lord.

I had a flashback recently to my job as a substitute teacher. Many days the amount of actual work I did was less than 10 minutes. Yet I was payed generously and nearly double what I make at this point--in a job that is eternally significant, and in light of what I believe, 'the main thing.'

I've noticed that often times I struggle in ministry because I incorrectly assume that everything I do needs to be dramatic and extremely significant. Now certainly I don't want to spend my time foolishly, but often times there are days when I don't do anything amazing, but I'm definitely faithful and wise with my time.

I'm learning that 'making it count' can often being average and faithful. That as I remain attentive to the Lord and His Spirit, that He will lead me to lead the many in ways that the few will be raised up and sent out to impact the world for Christ.

Raising up Leaders...

2007-11-11T09:57:00.000-08:00

I continue to think about this topic in light of some of the changes in our organizational structure, as well as some of the dynamics in my own movement here at Chico. It seems like one of the biggest challenges in ministry is leading people in light of the future, and aligned with the mission. What's unique to my own journey is that I have been on both sides of the 'selection' process. During college, I was not selected as a leader in our movement at UCLA. Also, I solicited help from a staff member regarding some personal issues, but that staff member, staying true to the principal of selection, directed me elsewhere since he could not invest his time in someone who was not committed to the ministry.

That interaction, although painful and confusing at the time, proved to be one of the most valuable and shaping experiences of my leadership journey. Especially because of what happened to me as a result of this interaction--I went and sought counseling from someone who was actually skilled in that area--a counselor! That person was able to guide and counsel me in ways a staff member never could have.

It's so hard for students to understand the role of a staff member--we seem to get confused with youth group leaders, and even babysitters. Neither of these are true. We are on campus to raise up laborers that will invest their lives in the fulfilling of the Great Commission. When we 'select' people for various roles and responsibilities, we are not saying that those particular people are the most spiritual or the best person for the role, or even the coolest person or people in the movement. We are saying that in light of where we see God leading us, and in light of what that student has demonstrated, that they would be a great person to be in that particular role or responsibility.

Although there will no doubt be students who are not 'selected' to lead, but go on to make great contributions to the Great Commission, we as staff are not responsible for that. We are not responsible for mobilizing anyone but college students to fulfill the Great Commission. Even if a particular person might in two years be the most influential Christian leader in the world, but at the time they are in college are not Faithful, Available, and Teachable, then we as staff members can have a clear conscience about not selecting them to leadership. It doesn't make us 'wrong' or even 'foolish' in not selecting that person. It means that we are primarily accountable to who is best for our movement, since building a healthy and thriving movement will in the future contribute more to fulfilling the Great Commission than selecting a person who may go on to be amazing but at this point in life would not increase the overall effectiveness and efficacy of the movement.

If at the end of 5 or 10 years of leading, I would happily assume responsibility for not selecting a few students that ended up going on to be great missional leaders, if by not selecting those people in place of others who were a better fit for the movement, that our movement sent out hundreds or even thousands more by those decisions. It's certainly hard to maintain that perspective in working with 'real' people and in the midst of so many different challenges, but so worth it in the long run.

Picking People

2007-11-07T22:19:00.000-08:00

I recently have had a few instances this week where 'picking' someone came up. At home, I half-joked that Theia was my favorite daughter. At work, I half-joked about certain people being 'better' than others. I write 'half joked' because in some ways it's true, and in other ways it's not. It seems that the problem is that many people, although they would outwardly say selection, playing favorites, insert your word here, is unfair and wrong. Yet most of those very people live according to the principle. Why is it so hard to get students to intentionally seek out new students at meetings and get to know them? Why do people chose to do the same things, at the same time, with the same people, every week, for years sometimes? Because they have decided on some level that a person or persons are 'better' than others.

Especially in ministry, the 'answer' for me as to why selection, or playing favorites to some degree is not wrong, and in many cases healthy, comes down to stewardship. God has entrusted and blessed Chico CRU with resources--primarily people to be a part of fulfilling CCC's call. The ministry of Campus Crusade was borne out of the desire to steward precious resources--college students--for Jesus' glory. Bill Bright saw college students as the best pool of people that could fulfill the Great Commission fastest. He committed his life to redeeming and investing in those that could make the biggest difference.

More thoughts on this but seems like a time to shut it down for the night.

Hope that sees is not hope...

2007-11-02T10:20:00.000-07:00

"Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees?"-Romans 8:24. It seems like God is really speaking this directly to me at this point. Verse 24 implies that hope has as one of its central characteristics an unseen nature--meaning as soon as something is seen/known, one cannot truly hope in it. To maintain and strengthen hope, God has subjected creation and the entire world system to futility. It's built in that we will never be satisfied with life. My fallen response is to run from this brokenness and attempt to manipulate and respond to the world as though it is not broken and fallen. I scheme and plan to gain things that I think will demonstrate that the world isn't as bad as it seems to be, and get upset/discouraged when things do not go as I want them to.

The particular danger for me as a full-time ministry worker is to get overwhelmed and despair of life and ministry when things do not go as planned, even when the things I strive for are lined up with God's heart. That last part can be particularly maddening, since it seems like God 'should' and 'would' want to move in certain ways. Especially when the world and the alternatives seem so crappy. I'm in a season of that right now--it seems that I and our staff team are aligned with God's heart and are stewarding the ministry very well, given everything. However, things are not going as well as I think they should be--more students aren't getting it as fast as I would hope, some of the very things that I thought would never be true of my ministry are true. Again, my fallen nature and personality want to assume full responsibility for those things. Sadly, I have been assuming more responsibility for things that don't belong to me my whole life. I know that Christ longs to set me free from those burdens, and cultivate an attitude of healthy concern but joy in the things I do. With all these things, God also seems to be telling me to rest in the reality that I'm a sower, not the one who makes things grow. How different could ministry be if I rested in that reality, and did not get caught up in trying to 'make' people grow.

Also in life, I desire to embrace brokenness more and see it as the norm. Even yesterday on my bike ride, I was thinking how many times I have had an 'ideal' ride--no wind, perfect temperature, great distance, no fatigue, nothing to get back to, etc. I could think of 1 or 2 rides in the last year. Yet I would say that 99% of the time I love my bike rides. There's usually some wind, or I'm not as fast as I wish, or something else, but overall every ride is a great ride. I wish I could say the same thing for ministry--it's so easy to get entangled in the wrong things with people, or worry so much about things that don't end up happening or end up working out better than I planned. I don't want my life and particularly my ministry to be characterized by fear, worry, and doubt. I want to continue to move forward and into life and ministry with freedom, giving the Spirit as much reign and freedom as possible to work in and through my life.

Stay on Target...

2007-10-28T13:56:00.000-07:00

I am still in the middle of Romans 8, and grinding on the verses that reference suffering and glory, the present life and the one to come. It struck me as I was reading it that the Lord has intentionally been leading me in this area since I have joined staff, but definitely for my whole life. I have never been about wasting time, energy, or talent on anything except which is of most importance. My definition of what is important has certainly changed and been shaped, but the value has been there for as long as I can remember.

I know that part of this really difficult time that we are going through now is connected to what the Lord has been doing in this area. Even this summer, the many different books that I read all had an undercurrent of stewardship, and the things that I liked the most about each of the book were also connected to this. Although the movement here at Chico is going well, and Aubrey and I have continued to grow as a couple, I sense that these present difficulties are preparing us to really invest in something coming up in the next couple years. Especially as the Lord has given me glimpses of my future calling and provided experiences and circumstances that I can tell will be a part of my future, it seems that I am in a season of preparation.

I'm so thankful for this small window of time today to be able to process and spend time with the Lord. There has been so much chaos and just basic hardship going on, that I have not experienced a time of enjoyment like this with the Lord in a while.

The Present Time...

2007-10-24T13:10:00.000-07:00

I just read some verses from Romans 8, and became stuck on the words 'the sufferings of the present time.' Although I am not experiencing persecution, I am overwhelmed by our situation with our girls. It was so discouraging today to hear that Theia lost some weight, making the prospect of her getting out of the hospital today or tomorrow slim to none. I have also been continuing to experience numbness in my hands, face, and body, and have had really bad dreams and pain while sleeping. I don't really understand all that's going on with me, and part of me is really afraid that something is wrong with me, but this whole situation is so overwhelming it's hard to really embrace anything as real. I know that the spiritual battle is raging right now in my weakened state, and I am unable to really get clear on anything.

All that to say that the present time is really really hard, and I'm really wanting to check out and avoid life. I keep fluctuating to the past, wishing my life was where it was before, and the future, dreaming of a new reality that doesn't include the things that are bothering me so much. I'm not experiencing a lot of hope right now, because things seemed to have plateaued at a place that isn't bad, but still not ideal and still very taxing.

As for my relationship with God, I'm really afraid of opening up and allowing him in. I'm so afraid of being overwhelmed by opening myself up to anyone, and with God it seems like once I open up it's hard to pull it back together in a way that allows me to function in a healthy way, and not get into some destructive patterns.

Belonging to Christ...

2007-10-10T10:17:00.000-07:00

I continue to be humbled by the way Paul talks about our relationship to Jesus as believers. So much of this year so far for me has been growing in my understanding of being completely enslaved and identified by and through Christ. For so long I have functioned out of a perceived freedom from not only Satan, sin, and death, but also Christ. I have falsely believed that I am separate from everything, and not bonded to anything save what I choose. Romans 8:7-11 shatters this false belief. Piper talks about Christ in our life in light of purchase and habitation. He not only purchased and owns my life as a result of his life, death, and resurrection, but also inhabits my life through the Holy Spirit--he has influence in the present sense, and ownership in the aorist sense--once and for all. This biblical reality has started to re-shape my perception and ministry philosophy, as well as how I go about ministering. Personally, I continue to be humbled by the reality that my life, and in ministry, my time, is not my own--we just did a time management development time which brought again to my mind the enormous stewardship that I have been given as a campus minister. In regards to how I minister to others, particularly believers, even more particularly divisive believers, I am humbled by the thought that they too, just like me, do not see themselves enslaved to Christ. Much of the rebelliousness I observe in students comes out of this belief that they are in control of their lives, and are the best determinant of how things should not only go for them, but for everyone else. No wonder it's so rare that people actually change and repent from behavior--their repentance often times isn't true repentance, but superficial or half-hearted sorrow for not getting what they think they and God want for them.

Back to my own life, and particularly where I find myself right now on my spiritual journey, it's hard for me to accept Christ being there all the time. Especially now, when I feel so out of control, and scared, and full of doubt, I don't want Christ to see me that way. I falsely think that he wants to be there only in the good times, and doesn't delight and enjoy caring for me in times of extended weakness.

I am desperate for the reality of Romans 8 to permeate my soul. I need to be transformed by this reality in so many ways, and in so many different areas.

Spiritual Principles...

2007-10-01T13:19:00.000-07:00

For the longest time in my study of the bible, I have been stuck in Romans 7. I get that entire chapter very much--both experientially and doctrinally. I just began my study of Romans 8--both literally and figuratively as it relates to my spiritual journey. For so long I have dwelled on the principle of the flesh, working itself out in my members in spite of the noble and godly desires of the inner man. Sadly and excitedly, I realized that there was a complement to the principle of the flesh--the principle of the working of the Holy Spirit. Probably because the principle of the flesh is so negative, I had given it priority over the principle of the Spirit. However, now looking back on my spiritual journey so far, the principle of the Spirit is not only more prominent but also more powerful in my life. I can honestly saw that the Spirit has worked in such a way that Jesus has continued to get more and more glory in my life. I have certainly done some hard work, made some courageous decisions, but those were secondary to the tremendous will and power of the Spirit to transform my life for Christ's sake.

This year has been pretty amazing for a variety of reason, but perhaps the overall one would be that it just seems like God wants to do something new in me, deep down. I really sense that he has graciously and mercifully released me from some pretty deep areas of spiritual bondage, to serve in a new way, in the newness of the Spirit. What's ironic about this newness is how enslaved I feel--not to the flesh but to Jesus. I understand my bondage and identity to Jesus is so much more than I ever imagined, and yet in realizing this I experience so much more freedom to live.

As the anxiety of having twins, selling cars, leading a ministry, dealing gently with really weird people, and raising a son, all soak in at various times, I can confidently rest in the will and power of the Holy Spirit to work radically--not because I'm special or even doing the right things, but because He is so committed to seeing Christ glorified.

Responding to Change...

2007-09-02T15:47:00.000-07:00

It's the start of our second week on campus, and there are already so many adjustments that our team needs to make in light of what God is doing. There was a sense that God was about to take our movement to a place beyond our control, and force us to trust Him for the winning and gathering of many more people than we have ever had. Last year, ministry was energizing and managable...this year ministry is energizing but slightly unmanagable. It's been kind of a let down for me to not be so involved on the ground floor of gathering students. Our sophmores are doing a much better job than me, and my role has been to make sure no one gets left behind as we make our big push. My personal significance has definitely taken a hit this year as a result of succesfully mobilizing our student leaders...funny how apostolic leadership is not at all about building my reputation. I sense that God really wants to do something different here at Chico--the pastoral model of ministry that many Campus Crusade movements build off of doesn't seem to be able to effectively engage the mission, vision, and values of CCC here at Chico. I have no idea what it will look like, but I do know things that I want to be true of us...a strong culture of evangelism and spiritual multiplication, a deep dependence on the Holy Spirit, disciplined and surrendered prayer, a movement that lives and breathes eternal perspective. If we can build in light of those things, then I will be able to have a clear conscience about my leadership.

A Really Great Question

2007-08-16T20:20:00.000-07:00

Today during staff planning, we were discussing how much energy and resources we should commit as a movement to the present and the future. One of our staff asked this question: "How do you determine how much to invest in the present versus the future?" This question prompted a really great discussion of movement building philosophy and strategy. Also, as we examined Crusade culture organizationally, we see that much is invested in the present--maintaining the current situation. It seems that overall we as an organization could invest more resources in the future, particularly in ministry contexts that have thriving and healthy movements. As a team we also saw how important a strong main movement is to not only launching but sustaining healthy ethnic student movements. Particularly as we looked at the success of Davis and UCLA, we saw that their strong main movement was a key and crucial factor to their ability to build healthy ethnic movements.

Especially in light of our mission, vision, and values, we are about kingdom expansion. Spending the time to think through how to best use the amazing resources God gives us is definitely a worthwhile venture.

Stewardship Stewardship Stewardship

2007-08-07T14:53:00.000-07:00

I'm currently reading 'Winning' by Jack Welch. I'm just over halfway through the book, and the underlying theme of all he says is stewardship. Now obviously he is approaching his book through a business lens, but it seems that what really drove him in business was the proper stewardship of resources--people and things at the most basic level. In business, it seems that because profit is so crucial to not only the business' livelihood, but also to the individuals, that they make every effort to ensure that resources are being allocated in a way that increase profit.

Although many businesses may have a 'worldly' mindset, I'm convicted by their commitment to stewarding their resources well. Compared to how we as an organization and how the church in general stewards the resources we are entrusted, we really should be ashamed. For us, who are committed to Christ and his value system, it would seem that we would feel and live out stewardship more earnestly than those in business. The one thing that Welch talks about over and over is making strategic choices in light of reality, and sticking to them. In regards to stewarding resources, he believes that companies should not invest their money and resources all around, but instead select the most promising or important areas and invest heavily in those. To see actual change in anything requires a significant investment of resources. It seems like organizationally we could grow in this sort of thinking, and really invest and 'bet' heavily in the new, for the sake of furthuring our effectiveness in fulfilling the Great Commission.

more to say later...

Dualism in Christian Culture

2007-07-27T13:49:00.001-07:00

Since CSU, I have been pondering how much dualism influences Christian culture and thought. Dualism being separating heaven and earth, spiritual from natural, into two spheres that do not intersect. This sort of paradigm seems very much present in how many Christians perceive God to be outside of them and their experience, not taking into account or understanding the Holy Spirit and even God's hand in sovereignly ordaining all of their steps, not just the ones after they received Christ or when they go to a really neat Christian conference :)

It troubles me to listen to so many believers talking about God in this sort of language, and longing for experiences where they can experience God. God seems like something they need to get, rather than enjoy. Our leadership culture and philosophy has lots of this influence as well. Leadership is seen primarily in the context of understanding and then acquiring skills, or leadership abilities, with the assumption that they at the time do not have them. Consequently, many that join staff do not even consider how God has been shaping them for ministry leadership since birth. Secular jobs, what college they went to, close friends, trials, are all part of a life before ministry.

Why is this so dangerous and troubling? First off, this kind of paradigm stifles creativity and passion in leadership. If people are told and learn they need skills to lead, then they spend most of their time and energy trying to get these skills, and then lead out of them. Meanwhile, people under them, consciously or not, experience them as 'heady,' 'task-driven,' or even passionless. I think it's safe to say everyone on staff is determined, support-raising will do that, but determination is not what wins people's hearts and captivates them to a degree where they want to follow wholeheartedly that person. Second, so many staff lack vision because they see it as a skill set, not an embodiment and manifestation of what God has been, is, and wants to do in their lives and the lives of those in their leadership sphere. Finally, and this drives me insane, is that so many staff, including myself, are constantly seeking to use other people's models that are successful. Now there is definitely some wisdom in learning from others and adopting different strategies, but that's not what I'm talking about here. What I'm talking about here is when new leaders, either on a campus or on a project, lead from models that 'work' and are perceived as successful by the dominant culture, which by the way is the same dominant culture that reinforces and passes on skill-based leadership. Perhaps the reason we haven't seen growth in exponential terms is due to the fact that we as an organization, particularly in campus ministry, are playing it safe and settling for the known for fear of the unknown.

I have much more to say on this, but this will suffice for now. I'd love to hear any thoughts or comments.

Tour de Cheat

2007-07-26T14:25:00.001-07:00

Aubrey and I have been locked into this year's Tour de France. It has truly been amazing to watch these cyclists go at it and strive for the championship. This last week there have been 2 instances where cyclists have been disqualified for using performance enhancing drugs of some kind. The tour leader was actually one of the two.

I really can identify with these guys. I think what I identify a lot with is that delusion that everyone else is doing something wrong to get ahead, and I'm getting burned, so to 'get even' I'll also do whatever it takes to win. That sense of being overly suspicious and believing the worst in others really wreaks havoc on my soul, and affects my behavior more than I would like it to. I can only imagine these guys, training so had, and the prestige that comes from winning even one stage, willing to do whatever it takes to win.

I guess the ministry connection I am making as I process this is how in ministry we don't disclose our 'secrets' to others often times. Because of that, it can often create high insecurity in others when they see success in other people, yet do not quite know the cause. I'm reading a book on business leadership, and the author says that candor, honesty, is probably the most underrated component in healthy working teams. The lack of candor and the stakes involved seem two powerful ingredients to facilitating cheating--whether it's taking a blood transfusion or something else, the root is the same.

Paradigm Shifts

2007-07-17T07:54:00.000-07:00

So far at our national staff conference, I have been grateful for our leaders and the speakers who have shared. However, I realized yesterday that one of the things I was hoping to hear from our speakers was vision that is grounded in a new paradigm than what we have been hearing for a while. So much has changed on the campus, and I was hoping that our speakers would tap into this new and ever changing paradigm with some profound insight and vision as to how to enter in. Instead, I have sensed a little 'digging of the heels' in and trying to rework strategy and vision from our old paradigm. There are still many speakers to come, so perhaps one of them will drop the bomb that I am waiting for.

YHWH

2007-07-03T10:28:00.000-07:00

I'm reading Simply Christian, by NT Wright, and in this last chapter he talks about the name of God. I've always been fascinated with how sacred the Israelites took the name of God. So much so that they wouldn't pronounce it but once a year by the High Priest, and that they developed alternate words 'adonai' and 'Jehovah' as a substitute. Part of me wonders how they could manage to take it so seriously. Perhaps because of the relaxed culture in which I find myself, taking anything that seriously seems like a lot of work. Also, my postmodern radar raises a red flag of 'legalism.'

But as I think about why I am fascinated with it, I have to admit that it disturbs my soul that I do not regard His name that way. It's disturbing because that concept and attitude seems so other. This whole discussion also taps into some of what I do not like about where church culture is going. The sacredness of our faith does not seem to come across often times. Even this past Sunday when we received communion, the sacredness of the sacrament itself did not come across. I often times glance over how sacred communion is.

For sure through Jesus we have obtained access to the Father at all times, and through the Holy Spirit we have continual fellowship and intimacy with God. I get that churches often times want to represent how available God is to them. However, something definitely seems to be amiss--this access, although free and available to all, is not common. It seems like many make that connection between free and available, to common. Jesus is not common. Communion is not common. God's word is not common. I wish that the preciousness of Christ would be communicated and represented more.

George Mueller Quote

2007-06-26T11:49:00.000-07:00

Mr. Mueller afterward used to say to brethren who had "too much to do" to spend proper time with God, that four hours of work for which one hour of prayer prepares, is better than five hours of work with the praying left out; that our service to our Master is more acceptable and our mission to man more profitable, when saturated with the moisture of God's blessing-- the dew of the Spirit. Whatever is gained in quantity is lost in quality whenever one engagement follows another without leaving proper intervals for refreshment and renewal of strength by waiting on God. No man, perhaps, since John Wesley has accomplished so much even in a long life as George Mueller; yet few have ever withdrawn so often or so long into the pavilion of prayer. In fact, from one point of view his life seems more given to supplication and intercession than to mere action or occupation among men.

I would probably do this injustice to try and say it any better than Mueller. I am so guilty of living without the Spirit's dew--it's very humbling to consider how often I build wood, hay, and stubble into the ministry.

Abiding in Christ

2007-06-13T13:45:00.000-07:00

I just came across this quote today in my time with the Lord: "We can't keep Christians from going to church. We can't keep them from reading their bibles. But we can do something else. We can keep them from forming an intimate, abiding relationship with Christ. If they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken. This is what I (Satan) want you (demons) to do: keep them busy in the non-essentials of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds." --Don Currin

Since I've had some down time the last couple weeks I've been able to step back and see how often I get caught up in these very non-essentials, to the neglect of my intimacy with Christ. I've also seen how cultivating and abiding in that connection with Jesus truly does release a power that is so vibrant, energizing, and authoritative.

I also just listened to a sermon for Dr. Martin Luther King that addressed the very same issue, from a different angle. He talked about how America, satiated and tempted by its material prosperity, could very well sleep through the revolution that God was ordaining in terms of wanting to use our country to alleviate segregation and provide an answer to world poverty and hunger. He used the story of Rip Van Winkle to illustrate his point. It's sobering to think about not only my personal stewardship of my life and family, but also how we as a country steward our resources. It seems like as a country we are definitely more like Rip Van Winkle than not.

No love for the Holy Spirit...

2007-06-10T12:21:00.000-07:00

Our church is doing a series entitled 'Heros,' which explores everyday people in the bible doing extraordinary things. The subtext is 'There is a hero in all of us.' Again, I am thankful that the church is seeking to empower and help us, the church hoi polloi, trust God for extraordinary things, even though we see ourselves often as unworthy or incapable of God working in our life in this way.

What I would love to hear more is about how the Holy Spirit fits into this theme. Without an acknowledgement of the Spirit's role in living a life of extraordinary faith, it seems like many could walk away thinking it was 'up to them' to be a hero. The idea of us and not Jesus or the Holy Spirit being the hero also could subtley condition people to think that there may be something 'in us,' our flesh, that can please God. I'm not sure of the exact place in the bible, but I know that God calls our attempts at righteousness without his Spirit 'filthy rags.'

It bums me out that the Spirit does not get more praise and attention in church. We as believers possess God himself in our hearts, Romans 5 says 'the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit.' We have God living in us, yet it seems like we are still looking to our flesh and our own strength as the sources of our lives.

I'm so thankful for Bill Bright and Campus Crusade--Bill understood at a very deep level the significance of the Holy Spirit, and that value still permeates Crusade ideology and philosophy. I would love to see a renewed passion for and committment to the person of the Holy Spirit in my life and in the lives of believers. It seems like by neglecting the Spirit we are neglecting the most precious gift Jesus has given us next to his death on the cross.

No such thing as 'inner' transformation

2007-06-09T07:00:00.004-07:00

This has been a pretty amazing year for Aubrey and I. Since January, God has been doing some significant things in our hearts, changing our hearts towards things that up until this time have been either blocked or hindered by our own stubborness of heart. These sort of changes have manifested themselves in some really cool ways: in January we were released from our cell-phone contract with Nextel-not that big of news on the surface, unless you consider how we hardly got reception at our house, how frustrated and defeated Aubrey felt trying to connect with friends and family in Ohio, camping out in the one place in the house that her phone actually had a signal--for the 6 weeks before we cancelled our contract, her phone actually did not get a signal. Another very cool thing happened just this week--we cashed in our rewards points from our credit card and were able to purchase 2 new pieces of furniture--in the process of rearranging our living room, it became clear that the TV needed to be moved to a new wall, thus changing the focus of the living from the TV to now couches and chairs facing each other, i.e. people. This was so cool to me because I have been such at TV kid, which translated into being a TV adult, and to think that this new furniture surfaced a change of heart within both Aubrey and I--a release from TV--and a new focus towards people that has come gradually and painfully as Jesus has seeped into the deepest recesses of our soul, is rad!

Connecting all of this to the title of the blog, it seems like true transformation is 3 dimensional. These deep things that God has been doing in our hearts are spilling out all over into life. The 'streams of living water' that Jesus talked about are truly streams--not little creeks, or small cracks that filter water meagerly, but full blown streams that usher the Spirit into the whole of our existence.

Cease striving

2007-06-08T10:14:00.000-07:00

God continues to show me what it looks like to not strive for his approval and allow his Spirit to work through me. I realized another pattern in my life--that once I do rely on his Spirit and begin to experience the fruit of abiding in Christ, I pull away from God, subtlely believing that God wants me to start living life and getting things right without his help. Sadly I use the Holy Spirit as spiritual 'training wheels,' believing that living life without him and doing well is somehow the goal. No wonder I experience frustration and choke out the joy that is possible in sharing my life with Christ and through the Spirit.

Dogfighting and the Feds

2007-06-07T17:43:00.001-07:00

Recently Michael Vick's home was searched by federal agents suspicious that he was part of an illegal dog-fighting ring. I seriously don't know what to make of this--I'm trying to understand what the federal government's motive is in getting involved in this case--surely there are much more important things that these agents could be spending their time on--following up leads on potential terrorist plots, researching potential white-collar crimes. Will we next hear that FBI agents are going after the subversive cock-fighting ring?

Romans 5 reflections

2007-06-05T10:25:00.000-07:00

Once again God continues to remind me of how much I try to earn my righteousness and perform for his approval. Today Romans 5:9-10 cut right to the heart of how false this is...

Since, therefore, nwe have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from othe wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.

The Romans, just like me, we're tempted to despair of the hope in being saved because of their own sin and outward trials. Paul, correcting their false thinking, and now mine, illustrates how the historical event of Jesus dying on the cross in the past provides an unshakable foundation to trust that our eternal future is secure.

This is an aspect of the Gospel that often times does not integrate into my soul, probably because I'm so often caught up in spiritual striving. Especially the part about being reconciled to God while I was still his enemy, and he mine. Piper points out that the reconciliation was God's--not ours. Although God was my enemy and against me, he sought reconciliation by means of his son's death on the cross.

It's so frustrating for me to acknowledge how little I live this out, but encouraging to think about what kind of transformation could happen if I were to soften my heart to this Gospel reality. When I think about my calling and role on staff, it's pretty much boiled down to this--participating in God's reconciliation of his enemies by presenting and displaying Christ. Ministry effectiveness seems to be very much connected to how what degree a movement is progressing in being itself reconciling and reconciling others to God through Jesus. How simple that is :)

You can read Piper's sermon on Romans 5:9-11 here...
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByScripture/10/1102_Much_More_Shall_We_Be_Saved_By_His_Life/