Cease striving

God continues to show me what it looks like to not strive for his approval and allow his Spirit to work through me. I realized another pattern in my life--that once I do rely on his Spirit and begin to experience the fruit of abiding in Christ, I pull away from God, subtlely believing that God wants me to start living life and getting things right without his help. Sadly I use the Holy Spirit as spiritual 'training wheels,' believing that living life without him and doing well is somehow the goal. No wonder I experience frustration and choke out the joy that is possible in sharing my life with Christ and through the Spirit.